I know this is not right but I just need to pour out the feelings. Hoping that somehow it will eventually erase all the stupid ideas in my head.
You asked me N times to marry you. I turned you down N times. All those times I thought it was the right decision. Pero bakit after the Nth time, ganito na yung naramdaman ko???
It's been a week since we last talked. Di mo lang alam, kahit weekend hinihintay ko mag-online ka, hoping na makausap kita ulet. The day after the Nth time, I felt like I can already tell you how I feel. In fact, I initiated that chat with you, and that was the first time I did that (with you). Luckily or unluckily, you did not get the first message I sent. I said, you're making me sick. I thought of you overnight and while I was on my way to work. I asked if you're serious when you said that. You said you were. And you told me you will not pursue me anymore. That made me sad, really sad. I am afraid that was the last time you will say that. And now, I still haven't heard from you, since last Friday when you greeted me Happy Birthday.
Till now I am still waiting... still with all these stupid ideas in my head. Stupid me!
